"...testicular matters do not feature hugely in cat-medicine" Read Mr. Mango Pickles
A theSpectacle exclusive: Bird-flu UK: First human victim named
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Why cockneys are wrong
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Welcome to the new theSpectacle!

Britain's best-loved worthy newspaper has changed.

Our commitment to providing the very best news has not though, and you'll find our new colourful layout reflects our freshier approach to newsing.

We haven't only made theSpectacle easier on the peepers: we've also made it easier to read too, by getting shot of all the big guff-pots that used to go on and on and on about stuff.

In our next edition, you can enjoy part one of the history of theSpectacle in 'theSpectacle In History', but until then, welcome to a new era in British publishing.

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David Cameron promise to Tory grass-roots: Don't worry, I'm a rotten Tory bastard at heart
David Cameron Conservative leader David Cameron will move tonight to alleviate the fears of traditional Conservative voters that he is bent on moving the party towards the left.

Speaking at the annual Small Business Association Awards, where he will present the award for Small Businessman of the year, Cameron will make it clear where his priorities lie.

Tory spokesman Eric Handle said yesterday that Cameron will make great efforts to assure grass-roots supporters that he is a rotten Tory bastard at heart. 'He went to Eton for God's sake, what do they think he's going to do, roll out a socialist state and hand the means of production to the workers? David will make it clear that if he gets his hands on Number Ten, he shall not cease from mental fight until he has stuck it to the sick, the elderly and the working class.'
Murderer Charles HenryMurderer's photograph belies murderous character, say neighbours
The stock photgraph of convicted killer Charles Henry does not portray his true character, say ex-neighbours.

'He looks almost happy-go-lucky in that photo,' said Mary Powell, who used to live next door to the murderer. 'But he wasn't, he was a right murderous looking bastard.'  Powell, who knew Henry for five years, said contrary to popular myths about killers, Charles Henry did not keep himself to himself, was not a quiet man and always had the air of potential murderer about him. 'The photo's a sham. Why couldn't they find one of him looking at least a bit less chummy?'
IN YOUR TODAY'S NEW theSpectacle
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'Lover's Toilet' not so romantic after all. Full Story
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This week our panel of experts tackle...

Foodie concerns, with Nigel Slater

Financial woes, with Keith O'Donnell

Testicular cancer, with Mr. Mango Pickles, the Boporia's cat.